For info: 203-689-7004

Conversations With The Dying: What To Say

Dying, Comfort, Death, What to Say

We never face death until death unequivocally faces us.
-Christine Longacre

Part of the cycle of life is experiencing the end of a loved one’s life.  Being present and offering kind, good, healing words is something that will live within you for the rest of your life.  Here are some pointers on how these last conversations can be beautifully meaningful for both of you.

Don’t wait – a terminal prognosis is just that – and the person you love has things to express to you too.  The time spent together.  They will be comforted by your words in the present, and the memory of the conversations will be a comfort to you after they are gone.

Show up – early and often.  Or as often as you can.  It is your time spent with this person that matters.

Before showing up – make sure you are in a place of peace before visiting. If you don’t feel calm, peaceful and centered, take fifteen minutes to quiet yourself before arriving.

Say “Thank you.”  Let them know the positive ways they have touched your life, what you learned from them.   They will know they were significant in your life by hearing your words.

Ask for forgiveness and forgive – it is ok to acknowledge that you may have wronged this person.  A critical gesture or meanness – apologize and ask for forgiveness.  Forgive by letting go of anger – time to move on and get past all of it because time is of the essence here.


Many studies show that hearing is the last sense to leave, so

keep talking even if you’re not sure you’re being heard.


For compassionate and knowledgeable information regarding how to have these conversations and all end of life topics, please contact Patti Urban.

Your End of Life Doula

Contact Us

Need end-of-life doula services?

Contact us today.
2269 Long Hill Road
Guilford, CT 06437